Blasphemy At It’s Finest
Ok, I never really did understand this whole easter thing but I’ve been doing some research on the topic and this is what I came up with.
So apparently around 3000 years ago there was this dude named Jebus. Nobody liked Jebus, probably because he was a liberal hippie and it was kind of a conservative era (plus he was black), so they lynched him. Everyone was so happy he died that 3000 years later some people still celebrate his death. There is even some guy called Pope who lives in Rome that gets so happy every easter that he takes a little boy to bed as a ‘special celebration’ if you know what I mean 
.
What I haven’t been able to figure out is what easter has to do with rabbits, eggs and girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes. If anyone can shed some light on that that would be cool.
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They love Jebus here in Dixie…especially Colorado City. They really love that Warren Jeffs guy too.
The rabbits and the eggs come from the celebration of the spring solstice. This originally was a wiccan holiday but like so many other activities, the church has co-opted the original celebration with their augmented story of a man’s execution and supposed resurrection. The white dresses I would guess would come from the idea that dresses are feminine and that white is a color for purity and fertility. The white dresses I’m only guessing on.